Difficulties

Look. I am a man. And I am gay.

No, it does not define me as a person, although it is part of who I am. In fact it is the part that I am most conflicted about. Maybe it is for a simple reason: I am at the closet - to my friends.

I say "to my friends" meaning for the people closest to me which, in one way or another, matters to me. My parents know. Which is a little bit different from the regular situation amongst other gay people: usually friends know first.

In my case it was different. When I decided it was time to tell my parents and my sister, things was good for me, then I made the decision to tell it to the people who matters the most to me in this entire world: mom, dad and my sister. Everybody else doesn't matter much.

You may think that I am different from the regular gay guys. In fact, I am not. But, I've put it in my head that I am. That is good and bad at the same time.

Exhibit one: I don't go to dance clubs. Neither gay or straight. In the other hand I use gay apps (only one really, Grindr). But I don't use it to hook up with the first hottest guy I see (or the first guy who thinks I'm hot). I use it to get arround the fact that I don't go out to the "gay scene" (whatever that means), so it is the only window to meet other guys that like guys.

Exemple B: I am not effeminate. Not that that matters, my first boyfriend was a little effeminate (although he was exponentially more when he was arround his friends). I work on a job line that is considered "manly" (at least in Brazil): I am a mechanical engineer. I don't believe there is a "man1s work: I am gay and I am an engineer, for instance.

Proof III: I reather go out and actually talk with the guys I met using grindr, than arrange some sex. This is probably a very serious problem.

So, this are some little things that set me apart from most guys (I believe). And they are some things that separates me from the other gay guys. Thinking the way I think and acting like I act, makes a little hard to mix up.

In this blog I'm gonna tell you guys a little bit of my experiences. I would like very much to hear what you guys have to say about the situations I'll tell.

P.s.: if you have hopes to see erotic stories, I've come to the wrong place.