E.

At the beginning of my experiences, I used Manhunt as a window to meet other guys. It was sad. The need to use the computer when compared to using Grindr is almos unexplicable. But everything evolves. Pokemon is there to show us (unless you are Pikachu).

Then I meet E. E. became my first boyfriend. The first date went very bad. Very bad. He asked me out to the ballet (really, who does that? I don't even like the ballet. The story doesn't get to me somehow).

So we went to the ballet. We watched an one hour presentation and we barelly spoke. At the exit, he said he was gonna stay and talk to some friends (he studied in the same school that was presenting the show). I was pissed, but ok.

After that we talked again. He asked me if I got upset (obviously, I said yes). But we agree to see each other again.

E. was the first guy I ever had sex with. At 24. A little late, but circunstances lead me to that. Not that I am ugly. but comming from a city in the middle of nowhere, it was a little hard to date other guys.

We hit it off quite well, after that rough start. We dated six months. But then he received a job offer and decided to move from our city to another. Of course I said he had to go. It was his career.

We decided to take a chance at long distance relationship. It lasted 45 days. I went to visit him twice, he did the same.

On my first visit I met a couple of his friend from work. As You may know now, he is a dancer and the job was at a park. He danced in those little shows. His friends were also dancers. Seeing E. with his dance friends made me realise something.

When E. was in the middle of his friends, he was a complete different person than when he was alone with me.

It is true that he is a little effeminate. I knew this. And I was ok with his level of effeminacy (is this a word?). But when I saw how he behave when with his friends, I got a little scared. He was very effeminate.

This bothered me for a very simple reason: E. wasn't himself when he was with me. And that bugged me a lot. I didn't change who I was to be with him. And I didn't like that he change pieces of himself to be with me. Aside, now that I have seen it, his girly gestures did bugged me. He knew it, we talked about it. But before I've seen him with his friends I was ok with it.

The second time I went  to visit him, it bugged me even more. Because I knew what to look for (yes, I am awful). And then the distance thing started to bug me.

And then I decided to end the relationship.

The break up talk started very smooth, then it got weird and then it got bad. I'll explain it better on the next post.